Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
