Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
