Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
