he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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