so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
