Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
