I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize