Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Randomize
