Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
