i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
