Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
