I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
