bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
