he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
