Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize