Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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