He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
