My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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