He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize