i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
