i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
