Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
