it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
