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did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
