when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
