sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
