Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
