woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
