i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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