EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize