Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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