He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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