JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
