Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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