Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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