Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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