I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
