Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
