Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
