He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
