I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
