Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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