Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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