I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
