I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Can Purell be used as lube?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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