We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
