nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
