Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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