Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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