You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
