I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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