when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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