brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
