Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize