Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
