i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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