Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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