just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
