yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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