I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
