you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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