He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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