I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
