Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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