I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
