I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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