Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He kissed a someone with a penis
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
