Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize