no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
