GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
