so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
