I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
