omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
