Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
