We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
