we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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