You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
