So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
